Woolly

Tomorrow is my second favourite holiday…. St Patrick’s Day.
The sad thing is that I have started to become way too responsible to really enjoy it like I used to.
Before I decided to grow up, St Patty’s was an all day event. Start drinking first thing in the morning and don’t stop till you pass out. I remember in college we would start the day off bright and early with a pint of Guinness then “keep a shine on the bar, with the sleeves of our coats” (lyrics from Spirit of the West) my computer is full of pictures taken from the bars on St Patty’s. Every single picture looks like I am having the time of my live, because honestly I believe I was. But something happened….
I.GREW.UP… or at least I think I did…
The last 2 years I haven’t gone out on St Patty’s, or even had a drink. It is all due to the fact that I have a job and I can’t just call in the next morning and say I’m not coming because I am nursing the mother of all hangovers. So I tell myself that I am just being a grown-up and I can’t go out and get smashed like I used to. I still get those calls (three this week) that ask where I am gonna be on St Patty’s, and my replies have been so far that I am not going out. Then the insults start “what do you mean you’re not going out?? It’s St Patty’s!!” “Suck it up princess and come to the bar” “hike up your skirt sally and come out for a few pints” “lift up your skirt dust the sand out of your vagina and come out!” and so on, and so on.
I gotta hand it to my friends; they are experts at peer pressure…. So much so that I am considering asking my boss for Thursday off so I can go out and make an ass of myself tomorrow night.
I honestly think I shouldn’t go… I mean yeah, I’ll have a good time but in the aftermath I will have emptied my bank account and have nothing to show except a massive headache and maybe green pee. Plus the insults only last till after everyone realizes that no matter how much you taunt me I am staying in… and I get my revenge by texting and calling at 5am! Which in the past, has resulted in them getting angry at me for waking them up while they are in severe hangover mode?
No, I think I am gonna stick to my guns and have a quite day that doesn’t result in my hating the world for 2 days after….
What are your plans for green beer day???

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My brain has been on hiatus…. I think I killed what little brain cells I had left on the weekend.
We had our annual “Boy’s Night Out” on Saturday and I am totally surprised I am still able to function.

I am gonna try to make time to blog more. Right now between the pile of mush that is my brain and the fact that I am getting dumped on with work stuff I have been unable to form complete sentences.

I’ll be posting again soon…

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I have a problem sleeping; I think I always have…
When I try to think back I can remember never really being able to get a good night sleep. I believe my problem is simple. I have an over active brain. I can’t shut it off.
The really strange thing is that I can fall asleep no problem during the day. If I just lay down in bed at any part of the day I will fall asleep, and I’m not talking a nap I mean I will be out for 4 hours or more.

I’ve tried staying up late and sleeping in… that doesn’t work
I’ve tried going to bed early in hopes that I will just doze off… that doesn’t work
I even went to the doctors to get sleeping pills…. AND that doesn’t work

But never fail around 1-2pm I get tired and the sad part is I am normally at work and can’t sleep.

My brain just doesn’t have an off switch. I talked to the doctor about it and assured me that when I am tired my body will fall asleep and I shouldn’t try and force myself to.
He said some people just don’t need as much sleep as others… right now I am lucky if I can get 4 hours… in fact IF I get 4 hours sleep I feel AMAZING. It just doesn’t seem right. Everyone else gets 8-9 hours of sleep, right?

I was talking to my Mom about it the other day, I was saying how it pisses me off that I am tired but can’t sleep. She seems to think I need to get outside more “fresh air will do you good” that sounds good and all but being tired isn’t the problem. I am always tired… I JUST CAN”T SLEEP.

The only time I can remember not feeling this way was when I was working nights…
I went into work at 3pm and I got off work around 2am. A bunch of us on the crew would go out for food at a 24hr joint and I wouldn’t get home until around 5am, at which point I would crawl into bed and be out like a light until 1pm. That’s 8 hrs sleep… that is the most sleep I can ever remember getting. Now I work 5 days a week 7 till 3, and I am never tired when I have to sleep. In fact I a wide awake until the wee hours of the morning, and the problem is I have to get up a 4am to get ready for work. So about 3hrs… that’s what I get…

I have tried everything I can think of… I have started asking around to find what helps others sleep… so far I have been told to try herbal pills, herbal tea and over the counter sleeping pills…

The other thing that I haven’t tried is going to bed right when I get home from work, around 5pm… that might mean I sleep until midnight or so but at least then I am getting some sleep right? I mean it’s not like I couldn’t find things to do between 12 and 4am… hell surfing the internet or late night cable will keep me busy….

The other option I have been given is to start working out… I have been told by many people that this will help get my body functioning like it should… the only problem is, I hate going to a gym. I am not a small guy, and I am also not the kinda guy that you see in a gym. I’ve tried going before, it doesn’t go well. I even had a couple of friends come with me so that it would make me go… but that didn’t work. I really like the idea of getting healthier, but there is this part of me (a huge part) that is too lazy to drag my ass out of the house and go to a gym.

I thought about getting a bike or an elliptical machine and working out at home… well sadly I tried that before and it just turns into something in your room that gathers dust or turns into a cloths hanger.

So I am putting this out there to the few people that read this blog….
I am asking for your assistance… what do you do to help yourself sleep???
At this point I am willing to try anything!!!

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Today I bring you a guest post…. and as per the rules of the bet I have not edited it in anyway… I would like to point out that I am uber impressed with the research that went into it…. I also got a bit of a chuckle out of my given superhero name!

ENJOY

Because I’m snowed-in for yet another day and have nothing in my fridge except fresh garlic, soy milk, and a bottle of wine that a coworker gave me for Christmas– which I just opened, and am starting glass #1– and because I’ve watched enough Netflix to make my eyes bleed, I’ve had plenty of time to think about the bet that I lost to Woolly last week.

The terms of the bet required that I write a guest post for his blog. So that’s why I’m here.

:: waving, “hi” ::

I have to answer question #1, Describe what kind of super hero the winner would be were he/she to have super powers. Must provide super hero name, costume description, super powers, mortal enemy, league affiliation, and any other general information pertaining to super heroes.

Below, I provide for you, Woolly super hero resume. Were he to have one, of course.

Name: The Meat Shield

Costume Description: Radioactive suit that should glow in the dark, but of course it doesn’t because everyone knows that radioactive things do not glow in the dark- at least not by themselves. they need a stimulant…or rather a fluor that will react with ionized radiation from the radioactive material to emit a glow. Just sayin. Woolly isn’t the only one who took AP Chemistry.

Anyway his suit would probably be neon green to feign some sort of radioactive power.

Super Powers: Simple. After many years of working in a nuclear power plant, Woolly developed a resistance to nuclear materials. Standing in the way of nuclear emissions and radioactive waves- and microwaves, cause who doesn’t love a hot pocket every now and again- Woolly exterior has adapted to act as a shield to nuclear devices.

He first noticed his ability to reflect nuclear power when a tragic mishap at the plant, left him the sole survivor among his coworkers. It was actually a fortuitous circumstance as Woolly was losing patience with many incompetent, petulant, and childish employees. Happy to never have to deal with a unjustly filed grievance against him again, Woolly left the work force in an effort to use his super power for good. He made it his mission to protect his Canadian brethren against nuclear transmissions.

A meat shield for mankind, Woolly wrap his uranium deflecting arms around the innocent. Protecting them from the uncertainties of fusion power. And combating evil doers who practiced faulty radioactive waste management.

Mortal Enemy: That’s easy. Ontario Power, Bruce Power, Hydro-Quebec, Chalk River Laboratories, SLOPOKE, and all other nuclear reactors from Canadian seaboard to seaboard are natural foes of The Meat Shield.

It should also be noted that the anti-nuclear movement in Canada, let by Green Peace and the Sierra Club have undermined The Meat Shield efforts by secretly engaging in eco-terror by blowing up nuclear plants. Duh, unsafe. Their campaigns are selfish anyway. They claim they want to stop the release of the radioactive isotope tritium into the atmosphere because it will affect agriculture, but really they are just worried about their Mary J.

League Affiliation: I could assign him somewhere cool like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or the Justice League. But instead I’m gonna say the Lollipop Guild. Yes the Meat Shield will serve as a righteous member of the Lollipop Guild, protecting Canadian citizens from poorly managed nuclear power and of course, the Darkside.

I can’t think of anymore relevant Super Hero information. That’s because glass #2 of wine is done and I need more thinking juice. I also hear there’s a snowball fight in Meridian Park, so I may hop on over to that. Because I have cabin fever after being snowed in for 6 days.

P.S. I would also like to point out how happy I am that Mother Nature decided to dump snow on somewhere other than I live…. But I did get a laugh out of the fact that this *little* amount of snow shut down the American government for 6 days….

Woolly

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages….. I am proud to bring to you… THE BATTLESHIP CHAMPSHIP OF THE WORLD….

(Ok, maybe not the world but definitely from the east coast.)

A while back… sometime in early December I was introduced to the idea of E-mail Battleship. I got into a series of games with Mb …. Now to be fair I am a genius at strategy and she never really stood a chance… but after a few SEVERE beatings we made at bet…. And here it is

Woolly and Mb- out of competitive spirit, boredom, or what have you- have entered into a bet regarding their email battleship series. As of 22 January 2010, the series score is 7-1 in favor of Woolly. The participants agree that the “winner” of said series will be declared when one of the following scenarios occurs first:

The participants agree that the winner of a three game series- aka 2 out of 3 , or best of 3- will be declared the winner and all other conditions to the terms will remain in effect.

GUESS WHAT SPORTS FANS……

I AM THE WINNER……

I opened up a giant can of whoop ass and took her in 2 straight games…..

I am now 9-1 against my American buddy, and to her credit she is still hanging around.
She’s not discouraged but the fact that I am absoulty crushing her… she keeps coming back for more…

She also made me a little trophy to commerate this event…..

I gotta hand it too her… she’s taking it like a champ… I took her to school every game we played and no matter how bad she loses she keeps coming back…. She is the Rudy of battleship…. The only difference is that in this version Rudy gets his ass kicked and then gets run over by the victory bus full of cheering fans of the great and all powerful WOOLLY!!!!

Feel free to drop by Mb’s blog and comment on the beating she has taken… she might not reply thou, she’s off in the corner feeling shame and licking her wounds.

Copy of an e-mail sent to Mb right after my win

Woolly to MB
Snarky???? Really….

I need time to apply the full range of my smack talk….

But right now I feel bad….. I can’t really enjoy this victory cause it sorta feels like I just beat that special kid in class.. You know the one, the kid licking the windows on short bus…. It’s kinda like challenging Ralph from the Simpson’s and then gloating when you open a can of whoop ass on him…. So you can see how it’s hard to savor this victory.

I’m gonna be like the traffic report… “Trash talk on 10’s”

Stay tuned battleship losers!

Woolly

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So last Friday I mentioned the fact that my car window was broken. I gave up all hope of it fixing itself and finally made an appointment to have it fixed.
I damn near fell off my chair when I found out that the part it needed was $115.
It a friggin 2 way switch… I can get one at radio shack for like 5 bucks!
Then the only time I could get the work done was Friday morning… and of course I work so I asked my old man to take it in….
He is a great Dad so let me borrow his truck and he took my car into get serviced.
I got a call at work around noon to tell me that he took it in to get fixed but it broke shortly after he left the dealership so he drove right back to get it fixed again and was told he had to come back Saturday because they had to order another part…
This is bullshit…. The guy puts in a brand new switch and it turns out that it is defective? Not much I can do about that so now I have to waste a Saturday getting it re-done.
Bright and early Saturday morning I am at the dealership at 8am (running on 3 hours sleep) I decide while I am there that I will have him look at another problem which is minor. The light on the dash is always on saying that my tires have low pressure even though they don’t. So I ask him to reset that.
3 hours and 9 cups of coffee later I see my car leave the garage.
As I am walking up to it I notice that the hood emblem is missing… that’s strange it was there this morning when I left? I walk over to talk to the service manager and tells me that the window is fixed but he can’t reset my sensor on the dash board. He tells me that for reason the sensors in my tires aren’t responding… I inform him it is because I don’t have sensors in my tire… you need to reset the computer to fix the problem…
Now I could type out the entire conversation I had with this man but it is easier to type the fact that he told me I was wrong, he was right and that I didn’t know what I was talking about.
The guy was now officially a douche bag and was getting dangerously close to a punch in the mouth.
THEN he tells me that they killed the battery in my car while they were fixing it and that I should get new one (he is now right on the line of getting that punch) So I grit my teeth and ask if I can have a new one installed…. He looks at me and says NO… he was too busy to do it.
This douche bag is now sending me back into the world with a dead battery in my car…
Rather than get into a shouting match with this guy I just turn around and leave… I get 3 steps away and I remember that the emblem on my car is broken…. I turn back and mention it to him… very politely I suggest that it came off while the mechanic was pressure washing my car… without missing a beat he replies it was broken when it came in…
That was it… right there at that moment, that is when I decided this guy needed to get knocked out… lucky for him, he was about 50 feet away and my knee jerk reaction to start killing him passed.
I drove away without losing my cool and without an assault charge.

As I am driving home I go to roll the window down and THE FUCKING THING IS BROKEN!!! This ass hat simply took out the old switch cleaned it up and put it back in!!! I am FUMING…. I call back the dealership to complain and tell them I am heading back in to murder this guy and to my surprise the place was closed… it’s Saturday so they close early… I left a nasty message on the machine and informed him that I would be back on Monday to knock his teeth out. (Ok I never said that… but I wanted to)

I stopped and got a battery on my way home at Canadian Tire (my favorite store in the world) and while I was there I asked the guy if he could reset my computer for me to get rid of the warning light… the guy but the new battery in and reset the warning light in about 5 minutes…

I am not gonna bash the dealership online cause I am not like that, but if you live in anywhere near the Kawartha Lakes area e-mail me and I will tell you where to avoid.

So today I have my father’s truck again and he is taking my car in to be fixed FOR THE THIRD TIME… we decided it was best I didn’t go back… I told my father to also point out the fact that the light has been reset and that douche bag service manager can SUCK IT!!!! (And believe me my father will say that to him!)

So that is my ongoing saga… I will find out I the next couple of hours if the widow gets fixed or not… but one way or another I am NEVER going back there again and I will make sure everyone I know in the area avoids the place to!!

END OF RANT

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It has been one hell of a strange week for me…. lack of sleep combined with work bullshit has left me feeling drained and in need of a night out…

I had people I work with file a complaint against me. It was filed not for the merit of being a genuine issue but just so I knew that they are “out to get me”
I had the meeting last night to discuss the issue. I’m not really gonna go into details, for 2 reasons first I am pretty sure it would bore the crap out of you and second it was COMPLETELY false and unwarranted.
The shitty part is that when anyone files a formal complaint regardless of merit it must be heard. I had the excruciating pain of sitting through a meeting where the letter was read aloud then I was asked to leave the room so they could talk about me and vote on weather or not to take it to the next step.
I was standing there like a moron outside the room and then I get summoned back in to hear the verdict.
It was unanimously voted against and the complaint was dismissed.
I then got a chance to speak in which I had nothing to say on the matter other than to point out that it is not a work related issue it is all due to the fact that one (maybe two) employee(s) has a personal issue with me.

A dinner party was organized recently and it couldn’t have come at a better time. It is with a group of people that I used to work with and that I still friends with… they know about all the crap that is going on at my office so a night out is warranted. Good food, good friends, and good conversation are what I have in store for me tonight.
I e-mailed everyone and made one stipulation…. NO TALKING ABOUT WORK!!!

Did I also mention that my car hates me?
Cause it does… we went through a weird weather pattern here, rain, snow, then FREEZING COLD…. And what happened…. My window broke. It would not role up.
So I drove to work in the rain with my window half down…. and then (cause I am sure that someone out there has a sense of humour… it turned FREEZING COLD with -24 I then had to drive home….. and now I have a cold…. Honestly the hits just keep on coming.

Provided I don’t have to work Saturday, my plan is to not get out of bed…..
So wish me luck and good health if you like!

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The Woolly might be returning to the city VERY soon.
I got a line on a place to live, although I love the country the 2 hour drive is a HUGE pain in the ass….

This would mean trading in the howling wolves at night for sirens and car horns… but again the drive is a HUGE pain in the ass.

There are so many Pros that I can list for moving back, but it is the simple life that I will miss. Everything just seems to move slower when you get outside the city limits. People are friendlier, worries seem to fade, and you never have to worry about salesman knocking on your door.

It would mean going back to having a normal social life, and I wouldn’t be wasting all my free time driving to and from work. In fact one of the biggest things I am looking forward to is coffee and take-out… I miss having options when I am in the mood for take-out. I never realized how much I would miss pizza…. I never really ate it all that much before but when it gets taken away I found I REALLY missed it…

I will keep you in the loop, but when it happens… it will happen fast!

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I was introduced to the world of Blogging on February 4th 2006 I had no idea what I was getting into. I only created an account so when I commented on others blogs they had the ability to see a little about me. Then I started blogging on a daily basis.

I never thought it would have impacted me as much as it has. I have yet to meet another Blogger in person. Not one… but I have regularly commented on all blogs and strangely I feel as if these people are all my friends…

Most of them don’t read my blog or even know I exist, but I feel the connection none the less.

If there is anyone out there lurking, that doesn’t publish a blog…. START…. And let me know so I can read it!!

I really have no words to describe how I feel about blogging…. I am just glad I have this outlet!

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I am officially sick and tried of not getting what I order when I use the drive thru.
So I decided that I could take the extra 3 minutes park my car and go in…
I figure at least this way I can see them screw up my order and can say something about it.

This morning I ordered my coffee as usual and watched the lady not stir it. When she was about to hand me the coffee I politely asked if she could stir it for me.
She took the lid off, stuck the spoon about an inch into the 8inches of cup and stirred…

I don’t know what planet this lady is from, but here on earth the sugar settles on the bottom of the cup and you need to insert the spoon ALL the way down when you stir.
Not wanting to cause a scene over my small issue I simply grabbed a stir stick when she wasn’t looking and did it myself in the car.

I’m a simply guy… I don’t ask for a lot… But what I do ask for are very easy things to accomplish… LIKE STIRRING COFFEE!!! Am I wrong to expect anything else than perfection from a simple task????

Sorry to waste your time by writing this but I had to say it.

On a totally different note I miss my car…. Let me try to explain

The normal conversation when someone asks me what kind of car I drive goes like this.

Someone: What kind of car do you drive?
Woolly: Monte Carlos
Someone: I think the car is called MONTE CARLO not CARLOS
Woolly: I know… but I have 2
Someone: you have 2 of the same car?
Woolly: yeah… but not really the same. One is and LS the other is an SS
Someone: why would you have 2 of the same car?
Woolly: SHUT UP!!!

I do have 2 of the same car…. And here’s why… I bought “Monte” in 2003 and I fell in love… and 5 years later I bought “Carlo” (yes I named one Monte and the other Carlo… very original) Monte is an LS with a 3.4L V6; Carlo is an SS with a 5.3L V8.

Monte is built for comfort, Carlo is built for speed!

Don’t get me wrong Monte can move pretty quick… but NO WHERE near as quick a Carlo.

When I bought Carlo, I let my sister baby sit Monte for 6 months (I think she fell in love)
But I had to get him back because I parked Carlo for the winter, not wanting to get him ruined with the road salt.
Now after driving Monte for 2 months… I really miss Carlo… and I can’t wait for the spring when I can start him up and let him loss on the pavement once more!!!

Are you guys attached to your car as much as I am???

MONTE

CARLO

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